


Touch Starved

by RedHeadedGoddess



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Crew as Family, Found Family, Gen, Just a little one shot inspired by the idea of liches being touch starved, Post-Canon, Touch-Starved, Warning for a mild description of a panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 08:43:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12701388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHeadedGoddess/pseuds/RedHeadedGoddess
Summary: When Lup gets her body back, she forgets about personal space. She has to always be touching someone. Barry, Taako, Lucertia; honestly just anyone who is around her.Because it’s those moments when she isn’t touching them that she feels it start to happen. She starts to feel trapped, stuck back in the black velvet walls of the umbra staff. She doesn’t realize what she is doing, or even why, but the others start to notice.





	Touch Starved

**Author's Note:**

> Once they became litches, Barry and Lup were used to short lived times of being touch starved. But usually, at least, the surviving one, could still interact with the other members of the crew. And when they were both dead, they could interact with each other.
> 
> But when you are trapped in an umbrella for ten years, and your boyfriend keeps dying to try and find you, well, you get hungry real fast, with no one to ever satisfy that hunger.
> 
> So when Lup gets her body back, she forgets about personal space. She has to always be touching someone. Barry, Taako, Lucertia; honestly just anyone who is around her.
> 
> Because it’s those moments when she isn’t touching them that she feels it start to happen. She starts to feel trapped, stuck back in the black velvet walls of the umbra staff. She doesn’t realize what she is doing, or even why, but the others start to notice.

“Oh my GAWD, Lulu!” Taako finally breaks one day, “Seriously, give cha’boy some room!”

Lup blinks at her brother, a frown tugging on her lips. “Huh?”

“You have been draped over me for like six hours and I just want to spend some alone time with my man.” He gave a pointed look over to Kravitz, stuck sitting alone in a chair while Lup and Taako took over the couch.

She takes a moment to look at her legs, draped over his lap, one hand holding onto his. Had it really been that long since they had settled onto the couch? She shook her head and let Taako go, sitting up. “Sorry. I’ll leave you two alone now.” She sent Kravitz a wink as she stood, cracking her back as she stretched. She gave Taako a quick squeeze on his shoulder before she left the room to go and wander the moonbase they were visiting for the week.

She finds Barry with Lucertia and Davenport, talking about the last few towns and villages that could use their help recovering from the Hunger, or the Relics. Davenport had found a few small islands that had been hit, and because they weren’t on maps, been ignored, while Barry had found an entire town wrecked by the Animus Bell and the Wonderland liches before the hunger had even struck.

As soon as she is close enough she leans against Barry, arms going around his neck as she presses against his back. His gaze flickers up for a moment, a hand going to her arms to touch her and hold onto her. She closes her eyes, feeling his thumb rub against her skin and just listening to him talk. She smiles softly and settles happily against him. He and Kravitz had been gone last night, leaving her alone up here. (Taako had only arrived that morning, towing along his little magic boy.)

She didn’t even realize she was falling asleep until Barry gave her a gentle shake. “Babe, why don’t you go lay down?” he offered with a small smile. She wrinkles her nose. “We’re just talking right now, so you don’t have to hang around if you’re tired.”

“Whoops. Didn’t even realize I was falling asleep.” She wipes at a small patch of drool on his back and gives him a sheepish grin. “Sorry, Babe.” She gives him a quick kiss and nods to Davenport and Lucretia before heading off to their room here on the base.

Lup lays on the large bed, feeling the weight of the comforter surround her. Normally that weight and the darkness of this room, helps her falls asleep. But for some reason, whenever Barry or Taako weren’t there, it didn’t matter. She tossed and turned, feeling restless now that she was laying down. With a sigh she opened her eyes and saw only black. She shot up, breath coming quickly as her hands tore the blanket off her.

No.

Not again.

Please no.

She could only hear her own panicked breathing and the rustling of fabric as she tore at the blankets,the curtains, the rug. No no no no.

Her hand hit something cold and metal. Round. She wrapped her fingers around it, turned it and pushed, tumbling out into the brightly lit hallway. She sat on the ground, panting as her sense slowly came back to her. She was on the moonbase. Everyone was fine. She wasn’t trapped any more. It was okay.

Standing on shaky legs she went to the bathroom, splashing cold water on her face before deciding that maybe a nap wasn’t the best idea right now.

She went back to wandering the base. She found Merle, playing with his kids and decided to keep going, not wanting to interrupt. Besides, whenever his soul wood arm touched her it still gave her the creeps. After effects of his arm being gifted from a god of life, and her being an undead being, she supposed.

“Hey Lup!”

Lup looked up and saw Magnus, grinning and carrying a bag while Angus walked along with him, stopped mid sentence as Magnus greeted his old friend. Lup grinned at the two of them. “Hey Burnsides! Glad you could finally join us.”

“Hello Miss Lup.” Angus greets her as they reach her. 

“Hey-a, kiddo.” She ruffles his hair before Magnus pulls her into one of his big bear hugs. She immediately relaxes, a small sigh of relief escaping her. This wasn’t a dream. It was real. Only real Magnus could nearly break her in half while giving her a hug.

He sets her down, and she tenses back up a little bit. And while she doesn’t realize it, Angus does.

“You’re the last one to get here. Barry and I have been here since Tuesday, Merle and Davenport got here yesterday and Taako and this little scrap,” she winked at Angus, “came in this morning. ‘Creesh will be glad to see you.” She walks with them, glad for company. “You hungry? I’ve been itching to try out the kitchens here.”

“Hell yeah, I could go for some food.” Magnus grins, turning them all towards the dining hall dome.

It isn’t until they get there that Lup notices it. And even then, it’s only when she tries to grab a pan and feels a tug on her hand, that she does.

Angus had been holding her hand the whole time they had walked there.

The boy gives her a smile. “Can I help, Miss Lup? Taako has been teaching me a little cooking too.”

She smiles back at him and nod. “Yeah. Course you can help. Wanna grab me some butter and eggs. As many eggs as you can carry.” She watches him go and shivers, rolling her shoulders to try and make them relax as she starts to cook. She walks Angus through every step, smiling. It doesn’t bother her that he seems to be glued to her hip. He knows how to stay out of the way, even as he keeps a hand on her.

It’s a lot like being home. Or well, back on the Starblaster. She and Magnus are joking and talking, there is a presence at her side as she cooks. It all feels right. She yawns as she dishes them all up a plate, leaving the cooking utensils for now.

Magnus, for all that people say and think about him, notices it as well. Now that Angus isn’t right next to her, Lup seems a little more tense. She keeps looking at them and then doing quick glances around the room. She doesn’t even seem to realize she is doing it.

He’s been there.

So when they are done eating, he helps her clean up while Angus talks about the new school he is attending. With a glance at Angus to make sure he is right (The boy gives him a nod), Magnus scoops her up and drapes her over his shoulder.

“What the hell?!” She wriggles to look at him.

“I’m exhausted. Angus could probably use a nap, being so little,” Angus makes a noise of protest, “and you seem tired too. I am reinstating the cuddle pile.” He laughs as Angus leads the way to Magnus’ room.

“I’m not tired!” Lup insists, already picturing her panic attack from earlier, only now there will be people to see her break down.

“Fine then. You don’t have to sleep. But I have gotten used to lots of body heat with my dogs. So you can sit there and read or whatever. I need a cuddle pile.” 

He carefully tosses the elf on the bed, Angus jumping up after her. Putting his stuff down and shedding his less comfortable clothing choices, he joins them.

Lup is out almost as soon as he is actually settled in around the two others. He looks at Angus who gives him a small smile. “I don’t think she knows, sir.” was his simple statement before he curled up next to her, holding onto the arm she has wrapped around him.

Yeah, that’s what Magnus had figured. What he wanted to know was, why didn’t anyone seem to be taking care of her problem? Cuddle piles were a thing started by the twins, so why was Lup not sleeping when Taako and Barry were both there.

XxXxXxX

Lup isn’t sure what time it is when she wakes, snuggled close to the little boy in her arms. She can hear voices outside the door and her ears twitch, catching her own name.

“-and Lup are in there. She seemed pretty tired when I got here.” Magnus was trying to keep his voice low. “Is everything okay?”

“She has been sleeping fine. A little lightly, but who isn’t that true for now a days?” That’s Barry, his voice is laced with concern. Why? “I guess she did start to fall asleep on me this afternoon.”

“I mean, she has been awful clingy lately. I had to kick her out of my room this afternoon when Krav came and she wouldn’t leave. But that’s nothing to do with her sleep-Woah, what’s with that look, big guy?”

“Were any of you with her last night?”

There is a small hesitation, followed by several ‘no’s, telling Lup that Taako and Barry are not the only ones out there. It’s the whole crew. 

She carefully sits up, doing her best to not disturb the boy who is still asleep. She creeps to the door and opens it just enough to peek out. Sure enough, in the common room, the whole crew is sitting there, with Kravitz standing behind Taako. For a moment she sees him start to turn his head towards her but he doesn’t look, just puts his hands on her brother’s shoulders and gives a small squeeze. She can see that Taako is tense, and Barry is starting to look…sad? Ashamed?

“What are you trying to say Magnus?” That’s Davenport. Right to the point, captain.

“Lup is touch starved.”

It’s a simple sentence. Not even an earth shattering one.

But it’s not something any of them had put together before this point.

Barry has his face in his hands and Taako is frowning. Merle is the one that speaks up. “I mean, she was trapped in a fucking umbrella for a decade, i guess that shouldn’t be that surprising.”

“Okay, yeah, so that explains her having no concept of personal space but, what does that have to do with her not sleeping?”

“When I’m alone…I feel like I’m back there.” Her voice is soft, not ashamed or scared, but almost broken. “I…I can’t sleep alone…because I wake up back in that damn staff.” She is standing in the doorway, door fully open now. “This all feels like a dream if no one else is…if I can’t feel someone else, it isn’t real.”

Barry is there in a heartbeat, taking her hand and pulling her as close as he can. “Why didn’t you say anything, Lup?”

“I…didn’t realize?” It was more a question then anything else. “I hadn’t thought about it. I just thought it was random. I hadn’t realized it happened when I wasn’t around anyone.” She can hear his heartbeat in his chest, feel it in her bones. The second he had pulled her close she had relaxed into him.

“It took me three years to realize.” Magnus said with a shrug. “I had gotten so used to having you guys around, and then Julia…When I didn’t have anyone else around anymore, it took three years, and being around people again, to figure out why I couldn’t sleep great in the woods on my own.”

“How do I make it stop happening?” Lup is looking at him.

“Time. And now that we all know, we can help. We have ten years of hugs to make up for.” He says and moves to pick both her and Barry up in a hug, laughing as he does.

There is the rough scrape of wood against skin as Merle hugs her too, followed by everyone else, including the cold touch from Kravitz. She is laughing, and maybe crying a little, as she is enveloped by them all.

She has never been more sure this is real then now, as she feels every single member of her family holding her close.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for reading my first writing here on AO3 and for The Adventure Zone.
> 
> Feel free to come yell with me about TAZ and BLupjeans on my tumblr, AmeliaPond-Superheroine.


End file.
